Welcome to Me! I have many aspects to my life some of which I am proud of and some not so much. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend, a nursing student, a soul who struggled with an Evil entity for most of my life. But let’s start at the beginning. Born in Russia into a Christian home, mom did her best to take care of us 13 kids and dad traveled. Came to the United States when I was four years old. In Ohio, where I spent most of my childhood, I have
many good memories and some not so good ones. At that young age, I didn’t think anything of those bad moments, I did not believe that the way we deal with trauma stems from how trauma was dealt with when you were younger. My parents worked really hard to provide a home and stable life for us. As life got better for us my parents decided to pack up and move to Colorado where prospects for an even better future lay. So at twelve years old, we moved. From then on, with so much confusion between growing up and wanted to stay young, I became a lying manipulating people pleaser. I would sacrifice my own desires and needs to make sure everyone around me was happy. I was robotic and went into autopilot mode, however, this worked out for me. From 12-17 years old I numbed out and pretended the issues I had did not exist. I became very secretive, but to the world, I was the golden child. I got married at the ripe old age of 17 and life took a turn for the worst, (or I guess in hindsight for the better, much better). But At that time my life spiraled out of control and I took an already destructive life and made it more destructive, I turned to an eating disorder. I didn’t know at that time what I did, or even what to call it, and to be honest it was only a few months ago that I even admitted such a thing. The disorder dominated my life for about 13 years. For 13 years I lied, manipulated, and people-pleased my way through life. Now I am here, this place in my life where I have made the decision to recover, a decision that requires minute by minute choices to recover. As a way to document my positive and negative experiences I will be sharing them here, so thank you and welcome to my journey.